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AndutzU
Pe lista neagra
Inregistrat: acum 19 ani
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Step 1. Pick a cool name (Elvis, Florin Fermecatoru', Englezu, Chipes etc)
Step 2. Mandatory lack of culture.
Step 3. Must own: limo, castle, faraoanca (a kind of queen, but more slutty) and boraci (puradei, romanian word for gipsy children/in inal parasites)
Step 4. Family in jail
Step 5. Look
Jewelery: lots of it, gold necklaces, gold bracelets, gold rings (more than 50% of total body weight)
Haircut: 2 parts hair gel, 1 part hair
Clothes: flashy and tasteless. Must have black or white shirt, ciocate, cowboy hat, vest or cape
Step 6. Lyrics:
1. mandatory words: money ("bani"/"parai"/"lovele", enemies ("dujmani", "golani", women ("femei"/"fumei", chicks ("fetitze", princess ("printesa", drink ("bautura", dollars ("dolari"/"marci", gold, millionaire, Mercedes, cellphone ("celular", heart, soul, God, life, value ("valoare"
2. interjections: ooooooooff, ah, sha-la-la, cicalaca-cichicha, hep-hei, hopa-hopa etc
3. no one minds if your songs have:
1. grammar mistakes
2. expressions like: "lu copilu meu" "as vrea ca sa te regasesc"
3. free verse
4. rhymes with the same word i.e. rime cu acelasi cuvant
5. extreme metaphores, like "flower of all flowers" (floarea florilor), wallet sucker (sugativa-n portofel)
6. foreign words (bambina, ragazza, etc)
Topics
1. Love
1. Relationships
1. With more women
2. Successful
3. Unsuccessful (see dumping)
2. Dumping
1. For another person
2. For money
3. For both
3. Death
2. Family
1. Children
2. Wife
3. Brother (usually congratulating him, song titles like "Fratele Meu", dedicated to your brother are not uncommon)
3. Money
1. Having lots of it
2. Wasting it (on bitches, tzuica and friends)
3. Being envied
4. Congratulating yourself (wealth, well-being, sexual performances, sex appeal)
The song
1. Instruments
1. Acordeon (gipsy must have a big smile on his mouth, shining gold teeth inside)
2. Bad organ
3. Blowing instruments (big mouth gipsy with thin moustache is a must)
4. Synthetiser drums - sample sound: ta ran ca tan ta ran ca tan
5. Acoustic guitar (preffered technique: toe string picking)
6. Saxophone (only if the song gets meowy - prefered phrases: Haililiii, Hauliuuuu)
2. Voice
1. Optional
2. Echo
3. Must-have foreign accent
4. Includes rap
3. Originality is optional
4. The song have same rithm (usually short cut from a success song), any change can make the singer lose it.
Music Video
1. Mandatory dance moves (for the manelist)
1. Strafe Left-right (max 2 steps)
2. Snapping your fingers
3. Charming smile with flashy gold teeth
2. 15 or 20 petards (petarde in romana) shaking their hips
3. Bad or nonexistant setting
4 Preferable playback singing with toy microphones (in case of live singing, "the Great Artist" must be very drunk)
5. Bright lights (as coloured as they get)
6. Convertible cars (for the hot-shot to sing in)
7. Flying money thrown by stupid bystanders.
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