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Nebunatyka din Bucuresti
 | Femeie
23 ani
Bucuresti
cauta Barbat
23 - 73 ani |
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Goldfinger
Membru Senior
 Inregistrat: acum 18 ani
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E doar in engleza dar... 
Just in case you need a laugh:
Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one. (I question that statement) After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a ‘gripe sheet,’ which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews, albeit they may lack a formal higher education, has ever lacked a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS‘ pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.
By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
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P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Probably because auto-land is not installed on this aircraft.
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P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit
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P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
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P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode has a 200 ft. per min. descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
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P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
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P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
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P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That’s what friction locks are for.
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P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF IS inoperative in OFF mode.
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P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you’re right.
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P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
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P: Aircraft acting funny
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
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P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
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P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
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P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
_______________________________________
T.H.U.G. L.I.F.E. - The Hate U Give Little Infants Fxxxs Everyone - 2Pac
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| pus acum 16 ani |
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Sketch
MEMBRU VIP
 Din: totdeauna
Inregistrat: acum 17 ani
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Goldfinger a scris:
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Probably because auto-land is not installed on this aircraft.
*
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
*
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That’s what friction locks are for.
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P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF IS inoperative in OFF mode.
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P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you’re right.
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P: Aircraft acting funny
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
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P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
*
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget. |
OMFG! etc.
BESTIAL
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| pus acum 16 ani |
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